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Saturday, May 10, 2014
My dreams turned to nightmares. I awoke with a start. The room was dark, and my husband snored softly, but I was wide awake. My daughter floundered in hurt and denial.
Wednesday night’s class was about the breakdown of love between mothers and daughters and the resulting scars. While sitting in the class, I’d been convicted. Perhaps my daughter’s anger at me came from the judgmental attitude I had toward her—the same condemnation I had felt from my mother. Two days had passed since that class, and I had yet to act.
At two in the morning, I crept out of the bedroom and to our computer. I typed a letter to my daughter. With every word, a tear fell to the keyboard. When temptation caused me to remember what she had or hadn’t done, I deleted and focused on my actions.
When the letter was finished and reread, I folded it and put it in an envelope ready to mail.
Last week, a devotion book had been first to call me to repentance for not forgiving my daughter for her lifestyle. Obviously, God had to hit me over the head several times before I’d act.
I chuckled at that thought. “I’m learning, Lord.”
Shadows danced on the wall from the moon shining through waving trees outside our windows. The smell of roses permeated the house. My husband and I celebrated our forty-sixth wedding anniversary yesterday.
“Teach me, Lord. Forgive me as I forgive my daughter.”
Last Sunday, the preacher used the text Matthew 28:20 KJV
“…..lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” To the Christian who has walked away from God, Jesus still stands close, ready to embrace and heal.
My head rested against the chair. As I floated in a half-awake state, a vision drifted through my mind. Jesus followed my daughter into a bar and sat on the next stool waiting in case she turned to Him. Though I could no longer protect my child from harm, Jesus could go wherever she went.
My eyes drooped. When I went to bed, my body sunk into smooth sheets. The love of my life covered me with his warm arm. God filled me with peace. My supplication had been heard. Thank you, Jesus.
I wrote this six years ago, but God prompted me that someone needed to read it today. I'm seeing God working in my daughter's life. I'm still working at leaving my children in His hands. He's faithful.