Sunday, January 23, 2011

2011- a Year of Consistency and Kind Conversation - I hope

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22,23 NIV.”

This is a time for new years resolutions. In 2011, I wish to harness in my inconsistency and my words.

In the area of food addiction, inconsistency marked my choices for years, keeping me on a roller coaster of emotional upheaval. For a week, a month, maybe even six months, I would maintain white-knuckled devotion to a diet plan. I counted and measured every bite. Nothing went between my lips that wasn’t on my list. Then, it happened. Because of a certain circumstance, I’d eat something wrong. Discouragement then brought me to my knees. My thoughts went like this:

I messed up.
What did it matter anyway?
I can’t take this anymore.
I’ve already blown it, so I might as well eat something I really want.

Though an overeating compulsion has been a big challenge in my life, I also see this same attitude in other areas. For awhile I love everybody. I remind myself no one is perfect. They're human. I'm human. I need to turn it over to God. Then, someone says or does something that hurts my feelings, and here's my thought patterns:

I'm worthless.
Who cares?
I'll never speak to them again.
I don't fit in there, so I'll leave the group.

Next thing I know I'm looking for a new church, or new group, or new friend, or I'm holing up at home nursing my wounds. The devil wins a victory because I cease to be useful to God until I forgive and move on.

Last week, I started a Joyce Meyer course at church about our conversation to ourselves, to others and to God. Wow, I was reminded of the importance of our words, even our words to ourselves. According to Meyer, if we insult ourselves, we insult God, our creator. I also was convicted of my words to God. I apologize to my Heavenly Father for such language as "My life is unfair." "Don't you love me, God?" "I prayed, and things got worse." In this, I show my mistrust of God.

God showers us with new compassion every day. He never fails, and He’s always there. He’s the God of spring after winter, of newborn babies in the face of the death of the elderly, of new years and new songs. He’s all we need, fresh every morning.

Oh, Lord, I could use to lose ten more pounds in 2011, too.

4 comments:

Moonine Sue Watson said...

I understand and share your frustration with getting off track on a goal that was set. I found a list of
old goals while sorting through papers.I am still setting some of the same goals. Maybe this year will be better for both of us

Pat Rowland said...

Powerful, Janet. You said it all well.

Janet K Brown said...

Thanks, yes, I have to review goals & reset them from time to time.

Winona said...

Took me long enough to get to your blog but it just happened to be read on the right day for me. A God thing. I deal with gluttony on a daily basis. Like you, I've tried every diet. My weight hovers around in my every thought. I wake up and go to sleep thinking of it. I hate me. Oops! Those words would disrespect God. I doubt me all the time. I question my worthiness. Your blog spoke to my heart this day. Thank you, Janet.