Sunday, September 20, 2009

Letting Go brings freedom

Sixteen years ago, the Lord gave me an emotional healing. For years, I fought low self esteem, food addiction and suicidal thoughts. I learned the strong will power and determination I used to help myself could, as easily, turn on me and fuel the fire of my emotional upheaval. As many people who have gone through Alcoholics Anonymous or any of the twelve-step programs, I learned that letting go brings freedom.
I wish I could say that I learned that lesson and have never forgotten it, but this summer, my mind dropped it from its memory bank. I drifted into my old ways. My resentments drove me into a poor-me syndrome making me snippy and unpleasant to be around, and I ate myself sick.
A few weeks ago, I prayed for God's healing, again. He answered me. After all, Jesus stands beside us wherever we go, whatever we do, waiting for us to look up and call on Him. How soon we forget that.
I let go of my need to control, to fix things. I repeated "I can't do it anymore. Please do it for me." After he healed new resentments and guided me into His knowledge, He worked in my eating and gave me peace of mind.
When I thought about what my blog should be this month, these thoughts kept running though my mind. The enigma of having freedom by giving up our wills still amazes me, but it worked sixteen years ago and it works today. Thank you, Jesus.